Matthew Plotner

The Dream

This one has been sitting here unpublished for a bit. I don’t know why, other than maybe I was scared. Or perhaps it still feels unfinished. (Which it does!) But no matter the reason I want to send it out to the world and wish it the best of luck. Thanks for taking a moment to peek into my mind.

Anger is a natural, normal emotion

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.
Aristotle

Aristotle was a man of great wisdom, recognized for his understanding that anger is a natural and normal emotion, yet it can be challenging to manage. It can feel like an impossible task to handle anger correctly, but what does that even mean? I don’t intend to suggest that there is only one correct way to manage anger. Instead, I believe that we should treat anger as a tool, rather than a weapon. Anger can be used to build strong connections or bring destruction, depending on how we choose to handle it.

What Is It

This is a look in my crazy. I have often wondered what is it that will live on. What part of us resist change? Why do we choose the hide or deny feelings? If we are all aware that emotional intelligence, emotional release (crying), and vulnerability make a full life. So what is it that stops us?

What is it that lives on?
Beautiful words, sweet sounds
Memories that fill the air

What is it that resists change?
Spoiled soul, broken soul
Fear in all he does

What is is that feels?
Knowing love, hearing hate
Lost to time forever

What is it that grows?
Lives long, sees all
Caring not who sits to judge

Go Away

When anger. shame, fear, or whatever takes over finding the right words feels impossible. This will often cause a long, painful silence. I don’t know for everyone but for me there are words in my head but they just never make it out. That frustration is one of the worst parts. Knowing you need to say something but completely unable to.

How Long Until You

Introverts with anger issues seem to suffer the most. There is this fear that we are not enough. We will never measure up to the extroverted. This leads to a deeper retreat into the self. Which, of course, will cause more anger. But not really anger but a longing to be a part of the “feeling” crowd. What we forget is everyone is looking to fit in and measure up in their own way.

Deny like your life is in danger
Hide within so the shame is gone
Lie to yourself so you can sleep
How long until you fall?

Fight for what is just illusion 
Lost in the thick fog of fear
Blind to not accept the blame
How long until you fail?

Cold when you look inward
Alone with just the thoughts 
Hurt when the light shines through 
How long until you fade?

Black when they know the truth
Fear that you will not measure 
Bury the pain deep down
How long until you feel?

Listen

The first one stared with a bigger idea that just could seem to find its voice. The last was just a thought of what it must be like to not see all that is lost to hate and fear. Is it better to live in ignorance of all that is lost or to know but never be able to reach it?

Is He a Man?

Not a fan of this title. I am not sure what this one is. It felt like I was trying to find what it is to be a man. Not like in XY chromosomes, that is not what makes us men. But what is it? And where do I find it?

No One

This one came about while I my office in an odd mood. My mind kept drifting back to this lone place I was in. I feel like I am starting over in my life.

If I…

This is my first attempt at vulnerability. It is not fair to ask others to be vulnerable and not do the same. I have loved to write and worked on lyrics for every band I’ve been in. I never shared a single word of that. In the spirit of “Be the change” here it is, my first ever publicly shared piece of personal writing.